Today is October 15th, which is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I don't know that I've shared my story here, so I though today would be a good day to talk about my babies.
Zarik and I first decided it was the right time to start a family New Years, 2006. 3 months later we had our positive pregnancy test!! We had our first doctor appointment at approximately 6 weeks. The doctor had a free ultrasound machine, and decided to do an quick ultrasound just for fun! Well, low and behold, it looked like there were TWO sacs!! TWINS!! It was kinda hard to tell though, so we scheduled another ultrasound/appointment, and I was supposed to get my HCG (the pregnancy hormone) levels tested. Well, after 2 more ultrasounds, appointment, and blood draws, it was apparent that yes it was twins, but they didn't grow even to the point of their hearts beating. That last appointment was the only one Zarik was unable to make and I really wish I'd waited an extra day so he could be there with me. We decided to let the miscarriage happen naturally and 2 weeks later it did. That was definitely one of the hardest times of my life. Maybe THE hardest time. A few weeks later a young man at church had a vision of Zarik holding a blond baby boy, and I had a vision of a blond girl running towards us from the gates of heaven. So that is how I now picture my babies. We never found names for them, but figure we will find out their names when we see them again.
This is the memory box necklace I got to commemorate them and their story:
Please join me tonight at 7pm in lighting a candle and saying a prayer for all the mommies that are remembering their little ones today.
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